


The End's Beginning

by withoutyourdress



Category: South of Nowhere
Genre: Alex Carlin, Dylan Davies, F/F, Jaiden Wynters, Lucas Carlin-Davies, Matthew Davies, Samantha Taylor - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-11
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-03-22 07:49:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3720970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/withoutyourdress/pseuds/withoutyourdress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ashley and Spencer had done an amazing job in raising their three children together but time has come to let one fly the nest. Lucas is about to have the world in her hands as she gets ready to go away for University; but she will learn that the path she leads will be anything but a dream come true. Dylan struggles to find herself without hiding behind her sister's shadow and is close to losing more than she bargained for. Spencer and Ashley will march on through all the chaos and as always, hope to prevail through the debris of life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Under Fire

**Author's Note:**

> **Note #1:** This is the third part to Wash It All Away  & Points Underneath that I have been promising since the beginning of time.  
>  **Note #2:** If you haven’t read those fics then you’ll be very lost and confused.  
>  **Note #3:** Even though this fic will have Spashley in it, it is very safe to say this series will revolve around Lucas Carlin-Davies and Dylan Davies and their lives into young adulthood.  
>  **Note #4:** It is a slow progress so even though you’ve been more than patient with me thus far, I ask that you be patient as the saga continues.
> 
> Enjoy the journey as there’s no limit as to where these young Carlin-Davies children will end up (and the secrets they uncover.)

**ONE | Under Fire**

**~*Spencer*~**

“Seriously?” I stared at her for five minutes before she cracked her famous grin. “Ashley, she’s going away to University in a month and you agreed that she’s allowed to take a two week camping trip?”  

Brown eyes sparkled. “Spence, she’s eighteen years old. She can make her own decisions now.”

  “Not while she’s under my roof.” I scoffed, crossing my arms over my chest. “Lucas needs to stay home because come next month, she’ll be a thousand miles away!” I pouted.

  “You would think you were the youngest out of all of us, Mom.” Dylan snorted, throwing her tanned legs over the armrest on my recliner, a lollipop sticking out of her mouth.  

“Who asked you?” I raised an eyebrow and she grinned.  

“I think Dyl’s got a point.” Ashley nodded and gave our youngest daughter a high five.  

“Okay!” Lucas ran down the stairs in a plaid skirt and a hoodie. “I can’t find my sleeping bag, do you know where it is?”  

“You might want to consider changing your clothes for camping Luc,” Dylan peered over at her sister, eyeing up the skirt, “and hey! That’s my skirt.”  

“Whatever, I was just trying it on. Chill. I’m not stupid, like I’d camp in skirts.” Lucas rolled her grey eyes and then looked at me. “Mom, do you know where the sleeping bags are?”

  I shook my head no but was elbowed in the stomach by Ashley. “Fine, in the garage.”  

“Was that so hard?” Lucas shook her head with a smirk, pulling her long blonde hair back in a ponytail. “I know you don’t want me to go but Phillip and Josh are leaving for good and this is the last chance I’ll get to hang out with them.”  

Phillip and Josh Monteith were identical twins and they befriended Lucas after she was drafted on their hockey team. The only team that had a female on it.  

“As your mother pointed out, you’re eighteen and can make your own decisions.” I sighed.

  “I’m eighteen in two years, can I have a head start?” Dylan stood up, throwing her magazine onto the coffee table.  

“No.” I said sternly and Ashley laughed at me. “Why are you not freaking out about this?”  

“Because Lucas still has two weeks with us before she leaves. Plus we’re going with her to check out the campus and she’ll be back every holiday.” Ashley softly smiled, her hand cupping the side of my face. “You worry too much Spence.”  

“I can make myself a handful if you want,” Dylan smiled innocently.  

“Yeah right.” I glared at her. “You’ve already had more suspensions then your mom and I have ever had.”

  “I told you that the bathroom incident wasn’t my fault.” Her straight brown hair framed her face. “Momma, you believe me right?” She asked Ashley.  

Such a Momma’s girl.

  “Dyl, when you were caught with two micro cameras in your locker, it’s kind of hard to place the blame somewhere else.” Ashley chuckled a little. “However, I know you’ll be better this time around in school, right?”  

“Yeah.” Dylan rolled her eyes and made her way up to her bedroom.

  “She has your attitude problem.” Ashley eyed me up.  

“Me?” I snorted. “Miniature Ashley does not have my attitude.”

  “Okay!” Lucas came back through the back door and clutched her sleeping bag under her arm. “Phil said it was supposed to storm tomorrow night. I think I should get a tarp.”

  “Luc, I’ll grab you a tarp. Don’t waste all your money that you worked hard for on this camping trip.” I smiled and she grinned gratefully.   

“Have I mentioned lately that you’re my favourite parent?” Her arms wrapped around me and she kissed my cheek.   

“Yeah, when you want something.” I laughed and she shrugged, her grey eyes shining wildly. “You’re really excited about this trip aren’t you?”  

“Well yea,” Lucas shrugged and grabbed a cookie out of the jar, “two weeks without you two and I’ll be in a tent with gorgeous twins.”  

“You’re so lucky you’re a flaming lesbian,” Ashley jumped in, “you’d be in your room right now, locked up until you’re fifty.”  

Lucas laughed. “It’s a guys camping trip. No girls allowed and since I am a flaming lesbian, I happen to be an exception.”  

“Mason called, can I go to his place for dinner?” Dylan came back down the stairs with the phone clutched to her chest.  

“Be home by eleven.” Ashley pointed at her and Dylan nodded, smiling widely as she put the phone back to her ear and running back up the stairs.

  “Don’t be too hard on her while I’m gone?” Lucas raised an eyebrow. “She’s taking it worse than you with me going away for school.”

“Does she think we’re going to be hard on her?” Ashley asked in concern.

Lucas laughed and wrapped one arm around each of our shoulders. “You really don’t realize that I’m like a shield when it comes to you punishing her. Just, take it easy on Dylan okay? She’s a fragile little thing.”

“We’re not that bad on her.” I frowned and looked at Ashley. “Are we?”

“No, you’re not.” Lucas said honestly and threw herself in the chair and eyed us up like a protective big sister. “It’s just the focus will be on her more now that I’m moving away. I know how it is being a big sister and honestly Mom, so should you.” She clucked her tongue at me with a raised eyebrow. “Dyl is going to make mistakes and she’s going to rebel but please just do your best at being patient.”

Ashley nodded and ran a hand through her hair. “Well if she’s going to be anything like me at that age, colour me worried.”

“You weren’t that bad.” I nudged her and she gave me an ‘are you kidding me?’ look. 

“Do you remember Beth?” Ashley hissed slightly. “Or my so-called friends back then? Before I met you, I wasn’t exactly…” She hummed and searched for an appropriate word.

“Were you a player, Momma?” Lucas asked teasingly and waved her finger back and forth. “You’re so bad.”

“I had issues, I worked through them, I moved on.” Ashley quickly responded and crossed her arms over her chest. 

“Were you a player, Mom?” Lucas eyed me up a bit.

“No.” I answered a little too quickly. “Not technically.”

Ashley leaned forward and bit her bottom lip, watching me intently. “Care to elaborate?”

“I had a phase where I wasn’t ready for commitments, especially after Katie.” I shrugged and Lucas rolled her eyes at my ex-girlfriend’s name. “So I had a few people in my contacts.”

“Aimee was one of them, right?” Lucas grinned. “I knew it!”

“Anyway,” I stressed, “It wasn’t like I was using them, we had agreements and I was careful.”

“Any guys on that list?” Ashley winked.

“No. Ew.” I made a face.

Lucas laughed and stood up, looking at the time. “It’s getting late, can we go pick up that tarp now?”

“Yeah.” I kissed my wife before grabbing my purse and keys. “I’ll swing by the school to pick Matthew up from band practice. Do we need anything from the store while I’m out?”

Ashley thought for a moment before leaning forward and whispering something in my ear. She pulled back and winked.

I swallowed and shook my head. “We can buy that when we don’t have children shopping with us.”

Lucas raised an eyebrow.

“What? It makes a great dessert topping.” Ashley blinked innocently.

“Okay, ew. I’ll be in the car.” Lucas screeched and ran out of the house.

“I’ll see you in a bit.” I laughed and kissed Ashley gently. “See you at eleven Dylan!” I hollered up the stairs and I heard a quiet confirmation that I was heard.

\--

**~*Dylan*~**

Lucas Evelyn Carlin-Davies was my sister. She protected me from day one and never allowed others to hurt me if she could help it. When she graduated from eighth grade and started her freshman year in Beaver Brae, I was left behind in Lakewood school. She was no longer there to help shield me but in a way, I guess I should be thankful. I was able to step out from her perfect shadow and become my own person.

My own person loved to rebel though. Something I don’t think Lucas had expected of me.

Both of my parents knew about teenage rebellion and handled me and my punishments quite well. I was impressed how they handled that one time I was caught smoking in the girl’s washroom. They grounded me and told me I wasn’t allowed doing anything with my friends until I started showing my school, peers and teachers respect.

Mason Brown was one of my first friends I had made once Lucas went to a different school. He took me under his wing and I had spent many days after school at his place. Of course, his dimpled cheeks and deep brown eyes made me fall for him.

“So my parents will be out of town next weekend and I was hoping you’d want to come over and have a movie marathon with me.” Mason grinned and squeezed my hand as we walked towards the nearest gas station so he could buy wrappers for his joints.

“I’ll have to check in with my moms. With Lucas leaving for school in a month, Mom’s pretty wound up.” I shrugged a little and smiled up at him.

He chuckled and took a drag from his cigarette. “I don’t think that should stop you from coming over.” 

“We’ll see.” I slid my hand into his back pocket and watched the butt of his cigarette land across the other side of the street. He opened the door for me at the gas station and winked.

“Mase!” Heath, one of our friends waved at him from behind the counter. “Hey Beautiful.” He winked at me.

“Is your boss around?” Mason asked quietly as we approached the front counter.

Heath shook his head and looked at the clock. “You’re cutting it close, bro. We close in fifteen.”

“Yeah, sorry about that.” Mason sent a smirk my way. “We were kind of busy.”

I merely blushed and rolled my eyes. Mason had always made it sound like we engaged in sexual activities. Maybe we dabbled close to third base territory but I wasn’t ready for anything more and so far, he seemed okay with that.

Heath nodded his chin toward me with a gleam in his eye that made me flip him off. “I’m grabbing a drink, want anything?”

“A pepsi, thanks babe.” Mason kissed my cheek before I took off toward the back of the store. I could hear the guys whispering but decided to ignore them. My phone buzzed and I dug it out of my pocket, smiling at the text from my sister.

_**Be home on time Dyl. Moms will keep off your back if you can show that you’re trustworthy.** _

I glanced at the time on my phone and hissed. I had thirty minutes to get back to Mason’s before Mom picked me up. I sent a quick reply back stating not to worry and grabbed the drinks from the cooler.

"Dude, just because we're friends it doesn't mean you can try and rip me off. I have other people to answer to." I heard Heath whisper as rounded the corner.

"Come on, you know I'm not ripping you off. You know where I live. I just don't have the rest of the cash at this precise moment. I'll get it to you, I promise man." I stopped when I saw Mason hand cash over for a baggie of marijuana. I sighed heavily and made myself known, slamming the drinks up on the counter.

"You couldn't do this anywhere else?" I pointed up towards the security cameras. "The last thing I need is for my parents to ground me even more."

"Would you rather us do it at school where one of your moms work?" Heath quirked an eyebrow.

"How about when you go over to play video games?" I asked with a challenging eyebrow and put a five dollar bill on the counter. I grabbed the drinks and walked towards the exit.

"Wow dude, she's feisty as hell. That's hot." I heard Heath whisper before I felt Mason's arm around my shoulders once again while we exited the store.

"Okay, we need to go back to my place and light one up so you can chill out." He laughed. "It's just weed, Dylan. It's not like I'm doing anything hardcore."

"I can't have any tonight, Mase. My mom is coming to get me in less than a half hour."

"I can drive you home, it's not big deal. Call and ask if you can stay awhile longer and I'll have you home by midnight, I swear." He flashed me his dimpled smile and I couldn't help but nod, curling myself into his body as we walked back to his place.

\--

**~*Lucas*~**

The frantic phone call I got from my sister was more than alarming when I noticed it was going on well after midnight. I had told my parents that they could go to bed and I'd wait up for Dylan and alert them if there were any problems.

When the clock hit quarter after eleven, I knew in my gut that Dylan wasn't getting a ride from her boyfriend as planned. 

The phone call was a slurring Dylan to pick her up because she had no way of getting home. She ended up apologizing the whole ride home in a blubbering mess but managed to hold it together until I got her quietly into her room. 

Whether we were busted or not, we wouldn't know until morning. Mom loved to punish us by with-holding coffee until she finished a long ranted lecture about how disrespectful we can be.

The following morning will no doubt be any different but at least I had my camping trip to look forward to.

"Eleven. That was your curfew, Dylan! You blew it once again with Moms." I hissed as I stuffed my sister's body into bed.

"But you saved me." Dylan sighed with a smile on her face. "You always save me." 

I shook my head and took off her hoodie and pants before making sure she was tucked under the covers. "I won't be here much longer to save you, Dyl." 

"Of course not. You're leaving me and you'll probably forget all about me." She pouted before clutching at her teddy bear. 

"Somehow I know that is not the alcohol talking." I squinted at her in the dark and noticed the tears spilling out of her eyes. "Come on Dyl pickle," I whispered and scooted her over so I could fit into her bed, "it's just for school. You know I'll be home every holiday and in the summer."

"I know." Dylan sniffled and buried her head in my shirt.

I laid there until I knew she was sleeping before slipping out of her bedroom. When I turned around, there stood Momma with a hand on her hip and a raised eyebrow. "Hey." I sheepishly grinned.

"I don't want to hear any excuses from you, for her." She said firmly and ran a hand through her hair - something she always did when she was frustrated.

"Okay." I nodded and moved away from Dylan's bedroom door. "She got drunk and called me for a ride. I went and picked her up and just finished putting her to bed."

"You didn't wake us, Luc." Momma whispered, a deep frown on her face.

"Because I had it under control, Ma. If she were hurt or in an accident then I would've woken you up but she was just drunk and wanted to come home." I sighed and grabbed her hand. "Please don't lecture me. I was just taking care of my sister."

If it weren't a serious moment, I'd tease her about her height as I stood two inches taller than her. Momma teased me about my growth spurt as soon as I had hit fourteen. I was taller than all of the girls throughout high school.

But she was giving me a soft death glare, if that were possible.

"I'm her mother and she shouldn't be drinking in the first place." Momma hissed and took her hand back before shaking her head. "I'm sorry Lucas, I'm not mad at you." Her voice softened. "Your mom is not going to be happy about this."

"Why don't we both go to bed and deal with the outcome in the morning." I suggested reasonably and smiled when Momma agreed. She ushered me to my room before kissing me on the cheek.

"Thank you for taking care of your sister." She patted my shoulder and spun around towards her own bedroom.

The next morning I was woken up by Matthew, sitting on the edge of my bed with a goofy grin on his face. "Morning Lucas." He crawled under the covers and snuggled in beside me.

"Hey there, Matty." I ran my hands through his thick shaggy curls and pulled him tighter to me, giving him a squeeze. "What did I do to earn this wake up call?"

"Mom and Momma are downstairs scolding a very hungover Dylan. I didn't want to make an appearance yet so I thought I'd bug you instead." Matthew sighed and rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. "It's going to be different without you around."

"I know." I sighed and sat up, running my hands through the tangles in my hair. "You're in good hands though." I grinned at him and he just smiled with a shrug.

Matthew and I had our differences when he first came to live with us. I wasn't jealous of him or anything, I was just being a moody pre-teen that wanted nothing to do with kids anymore. But his large green eyes and big grin grew on me and soon I had found excuses to babysit him so we could play together. That time allowed us to bound and I'd do anything for both of my siblings.

"Do you have to go?" He asked softly, sadness evident in his small voice.

"Yeah, I do." I replied with the same amount of emotion. "Look at it this way though Matty, you have one less person to compete with in getting attention from Moms."

Matthew laughed a little but then his face became serious once again. "I only want your attention, Lucas." He jumped slightly when there was a loud bang outside my room.

"Why did you tell Momma that I was drunk?!" Dylan came barging in the door, anger written all over her face.

I got out of bed and pulled my hair back, watching as Matthew took the opportunity to slip out the door. "Because you were drunk," I stated and heaved my camping bag up to make sure I had everything before I left for two weeks.

"Lucas!" She yelled at me and slammed my bedroom door, pressing her heaving body against it. "You're supposed to have my back. That's why I called you."

I spun around and just stared at her. "When have I never had your back, Dylan? When have I ever thrown you to the wolves and left you there. I've been doing nothing but have your back since day one. So don't you dare insinuate that I don't. I got you home safe." I started to pace, chucking things onto my bed in anger.

"You didn't have to say I was drunk!" She nearly stomped her foot. "I'm grounded for the better part of summer. I can't see Mason unless he comes here and we're supervised." 

"Word of advice for next time?" I shook my head and tried to quell the oncoming headache I could feel advancing. "Don't drink and come home on time."

"Right." She huffed out in a laugh and flung the door open. "So basically just be an angel like little miss perfect Lucas Evelyn Carlin-Davies." Then she stopped and turned to face me. "Deep down, I'm kind of glad you're leaving for school. Saves me the pressure to be just like you." With that, my sister was slamming her bedroom door and I felt like my heart had just broke.

Even worse then the break-up I had with my ex-girlfriend Scarlette and that was rough.

All I could do was stare at the empty hallway before Mom appeared in front of me with a look of concern on her face. "Luc?"

I shook her off with a tight smile. "I'm fine. I need to shower and get ready to meet the twins." 

It was the first time I had felt like going away was really going to destroy someone in my family and I had a fear that it might be me.

\--


	2. She's Just a Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer and Ashley discuss how to deal with Dylan; meanwhile Dylan cools off and shows a sweeter side.  
> Also Taesso is the bestest friend ever (and the perfect match for Dylan according to Ashley).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having issues over at ff.net so for those of you who are reading here, thank you! I'll try and get the ff.net thing figured out but for now, enjoy here!

**TWO | She’s Just a Girl**

 

**~*Ashley*~**

One whole week and not a word was said from Dylan. She refused to speak to anyone and holed herself up in her bedroom. We would hear her come down after midnight to eat and shower. 

"Have you tried talking to her?" Spencer asked me one night as we cleaned up the kitchen after dinner.

"Of course." I scoffed and threw the dish cloth on the counter, wiping my forehead in frustration. "It's not like we ignore her or her needs, right? I mean this can't just be about her being a teenager, can it?"

Spencer blew a few blonde strands away from her eyes and shrugged a little. "I think she's really hurting. She's upset that Lucas is leaving and there is probably a lot more

that is bothering her."

"She used to talk to me about everything." I whimpered and flopped down on the bar stool. "My heart is so heavy, Spence. I don't know what to do."

"I know." I felt my wife rub her hand on my back and kiss the top of my head. "Tomorrow is another day, maybe we can get her to talk."

Dylan started to show signs of rebelling once she had hit grade nine. She had been suspended and grounded more than once. As a member of the staff and the school board, it had been hard for any of the parents or other members to take me seriously. How could I impact those students when I could barely contain my own daughter's behaviour?

Spencer sat down beside me and placed a hand on top of mine. "She does owe Lucas a huge apology though."

"Yeah." I agreed.

"You didn't see Luc's face, babe. She was so hurt." Spencer shook her head.

Sighing heavily, I stood up and finished cleaning up the kitchen before making my way upstairs. Spencer could be heard finishing her part and then trying to wake a sleeping Matthew on the couch.

"Momma?" Dylan whispered from the doorway of her bedroom. She looked so fragile and the only thing I could think of was how I felt when I thought I had lost everything after my parents died. Letting out a quiet sob, she flung herself into my arms, holding me tightly. "I'm so sorry." She whispered through tears.

I just stood there, holding my little girl while rubbing her back. We rocked back and forth and when we heard footsteps, we broke apart to find a sleepy Matthew barely acknowledging us as he went to brush his teeth. Spencer swallowed and then Dylan moved to fling herself in her arms, reciting the same apology. 

I made eye contact with Spencer. We silently vowed to help our youngest daughter through whatever it was she was going through.

—

**~*Dylan*~**

"Why do they even have band practice in the summer, anyway?" I asked my little brother, who was busy building a massive lego launchpad. 

"It's an advanced band class. Not every student can be in it, you had to audition." He stated proudly while concentrating on the model in front of him. 

Mom and Momma had left to go do a few errands before Lucas returned from camping that night.

"Yes, but why in the middle of summer?" I chuckled and went back to reading a book I had borrowed from my best friend.

"I don't know but it doesn't bother me." He shrugged nonchalantly.

A knock at the door caused us to stop what we were doing. Matthew got up quickly and skidded to a stop at the door. Swinging it open, he raised an eyebrow at me. "We aren't supposed to have friends over today."

I frowned and got up to find Mason and my best friend, Taesso, standing there with sheepish grins. "What are you doing here?!" I asked with a huge smile on my face.

My moms would kill me if they pulled up to find company over.

"Well I was beginning to miss you and I figured the blow of your parents yelling would lessen because I brought back up." Mason pointed his thumb towards Taesso, who just grinned.

"Dylan." I heard my little brother warn behind me and I waved him away. I could hear him stomp back into the living room and mumble something about _not going down with you_ and _I see nothing._

"You are going to get me into so much trouble." I groaned but invited them in. I hopped up in Mason's arms and kissed him.

"I'll protect you." Taesso grinned, puffing out his chest. "You know they can't deny this charming African accent." His dark eyes danced with mischief. Though he was right, my parents loved Taesso and his accent. He had moved to Kenora a couple of years ago and his parents were new doctors at the hospital. We had clicked and pretty much became inseparable.

"Whatever dude, you wig out whenever Spencer scolds you." Mason laughed and put me down on the couch, holding me close.

"Yeah, she's scary and I don't want to be on her bad side." Taes shrugged, not denying it.

"She'll yell at you for being here." Matthew grumbled from his spot at the coffee table.

"Right." Taesso looked a little worried before Matthew asked for his help, saying he'd protect him.

"So, there's a party in Lakeside tonight. Think you can sneak out?" Mason asked with his handsome smile.

I pushed myself off of his lap and shook my head. "No. Lucas is home tonight and we have a private dinner to go to at Rapture."

"Afterward." Mason shrugged and sat back on the couch, getting himself more comfortable. "Little bro won't nark on you, will you Matt?"

"Don't call me that." Matthew said in a serious voice, not turning his attention away from the lego model he was building. It was very obvious that he didn’t care for Mason in the slightest.

"Mase, I can't tonight." I said and slid to my knees in front of the coffee table, my body resting against Taesso's as I inspected the legos in front of me.

"Can't or won't?" I felt my boyfriend shift forward, sitting right behind me.

Taesso pulled a face and reached over to punch Mason's arm. "Dude, she said no."

"Whatever. I haven't seen you for two weeks and I thought maybe you'd miss me enough to spend time with me." Mason got up and started toward the door. 

I shot up from the floor the moment Matthew gave him a disapproving glare. "You could have came here to see me, you know. I was here the whole time." I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Like I want to be around your parents. I don't want to be supervised while visiting my girlfriend." Mason threw his hand up in the air and shook his head. "Taes, you coming?"

He shrugged and went back to playing legos with Matthew, who was smiling in triumph. "I think Matt needs help with his model, right bud?” There was no mistaken that Mason was a little jealous that my best friend could shorten Matthew’s name.

Matthew nodded and gave Taesso a high five before going back to his project. The two boys got lost in a quiet conversation that they often got into while he came over.

"I'm out." Mason gave up and opened the door. He turned to look at me with a somewhat sad face. "I did miss you, Dylan. If you change your mind about tonight, let me know." 

I just stood there as the door closed and stared at it blankly. I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist and Taesso's chin placed gently on my shoulder. "You could do better, you know." He whispered with a shrug and squeezed me in a tight hug. "You deserve better."

I sighed and fell back into my best friend's arms, wondering why all boys couldn't be just like my Taesso. "You might get in trouble for being here."

"Not if I invited him over." Matthew threw us a wink and a shit-eating grin. "Come help me build the shuttle, T!"

Taesso laughed into my shoulder before placing a sloppy kiss on my cheek and stepped away. I spun around and flopped myself back on the couch with a smile on my face.

—

**~*Spencer*~**

"So I just got off the phone with Robbin," I walked up to Ashley and chuckled a little, "she said her and Allie thought Taesso was with Mason." 

I had called Taesso's moms to make sure it was okay for him to be at our place. Normally it wouldn't be a problem, he was over practically every second weekend anyway but we'd usually make sure the Ramirez's were okay with it first.

Ashley grunted a bit before poking her head out of the kitchen to find Dylan, Taesso and Matthew curled up on the couch watching a movie. "I can't be mad for Taesso being here."

"Neither can I." I flung an arm around my wife's shoulder and kissed the side of her head. "Matthew said he invited him over."

Ashley snorted and beamed proudly when she turned to face me; her arms wrapping around my waist. "I doubt that is what happened but I find it endearing he's protecting the both of them." She muttered before kissing me.

"Hey T," I pulled away from the kiss and smacked Ashley on the bottom gently before walking to the living room, "your parents are okay with you coming with us to dinner if you want."

Dylan's head shot up from his lap, a grin wider than I had seen it in weeks. "Really?"

"Of course he'd have to be Matthew's date, since he's over to see him and not you." Ashley sighed in a teasing tone when she sidled up right next to me. She had that mischievous twinkle in her eye.

"But I can sit by him right?" Dylan scurried off the couch and stood right in front of us. "Right?"

I gave a dramatic sigh. "I guess." Arms were wrapped around me with a squeeze and a thank you before she was back on the couch in her previous position.

Ashley nudged my shoulder with hers, "how long is it going to take for those two to realize they're a cute couple?"

"Shh." I hissed and shoved her playfully back into the kitchen. "Dylan has a boyfriend and I will not condone cheating."

"Well if she broke up with Mase and then went out with Taes..." She trailed off before grabbing the tea kettle, a wistful look on her face. She noticed my disapproving glare. "What? Spence..."

"Stop it." I shook my head and kissed her cheek. "Leave the kids alone. I can't believe you're even wanting Dylan to have a boyfriend. She's 16."

"We were her age once." She stated as a matter of fact. 

"I'm well aware and it scares me." I bumped her with my hip. 

The afternoon wore on and we found ourselves on the loveseat couch watching a movie with the kids. The door swung open and in came Lucas with a grin on her face, two boys trailing behind her. "Hey guys!" I waved from my seat, Ashley sitting up from laying her head on my lap."Have fun?"

"Totally Mrs. CD." Phillip grinned, strands of his hair falling from his manbun. "Thanks for trusting us with Luc."

"Thank you for giving us a reason to trust you two." I smiled at them gratefully and got up to give them each a hug. Josh held on a little too long for anyone's liking in the room.

"Dude, get off of her, she's my mom." Lucas shoved him away from me with a scowl. He did nothing but give her a smug look. 

"Okay well Phillip, you're officially my favourite." Ashley stated from the couch, giving the other teenager a death glare.

Dylan could only laugh into Taesso's shoulder and Matthew's look matched his Momma's. 

After a very heartfelt goodbye between Lucas and the twins, I had everyone go get ready for dinner at Rapture. It was a Going Away dinner for Lucas, who refused to believe that it was a big deal.

"Lucas, can you take Dylan?" I heard Ashley yell from upstairs.

"Sure." Lucas yelled back from her spot beside me in the downstairs bathroom. She had a couple of inches on me, well on both Ashley and I, and she often liked to use us an arm rest. "Why am I taking Dylan?" She leaned into me, whispering as she adjusted the tie she was wearing.

"Your Ma thinks she's being sneaky. She wants you two to talk." I shrugged and fixed my make-up.

Lucas only sighed and nodded before checking herself out in the mirror one last time. “I’ll grab Dyl and we’ll meet you guys there.” She kissed my cheek and out of the room she skipped.

Laughing to myself, I finished getting ready before gathering my wife, Matthew and Taesso, ushering them to the car. 


	3. In Love With You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucas is just an average 18 yr old in love.  
> Jaiden...finally gets it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Spashley. However, I own everyone else – especially Lucas. Protect her at all costs, okay?

**~*Lucas*~**

The drive was rather quiet as we headed out of Keewatin. I had moved to turn the radio on to help with the slight awkward silence. Dylan and I had our share of arguments but it all felt so foreign at that moment. I could tell she wanted to say something but her brown eyes avoided my gaze since I had returned home that evening. Before I could turn the volume up, Dylan’s hand fell on mine.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered and I felt her looking at me. I chanced a glance at her and noticed the tears brimming in her eyes. It immediately killed me that I couldn’t reach over and hug her because I was driving.

“You couldn’t apologize when I’m busy not driving?” I managed a watery chuckle and she snorted, wiping at her eyes.

“I’m a jerk and I know I’ll probably continue to be a jerk because that’s just how I roll.” Dylan shrugged but squeezed my hand. "But I really am sorry Lukey. I don't actually want you to go."

"I know." I sighed and squeezed her hand back. "This is a new experience for me. I'm going to York where Mom went and I was given the same scholarship for hockey. This is a huge deal."

Dylan nodded in understanding with a small smile before we entered the main part of the city. "I am happy for you."

Nothing else was said as we pulled into the back lane lot. It was for employees only but we were family so Chase and Ephiny didn't care. The rest of the family had yet to arrive so we made our way through the back entrance. "Chase? Eph?"

A bright smile from Chase was what greeted me as we rounded the corner to enter the kitchen of Rapture. "Hey my favourite girls!" She kissed us each on the cheek. "Where is the rest of the calvary?"

"You know Momma. She won't even touch the speed limit with kids in the car." Dylan chuckled and bumped my hip with hers.

"Ah! My two favourite girls!" Ephiny came into the kitchen with a tray of dirty plates and cups. "This is an exciting night, isn't it? Doesn't this bring back memories of Jaiden leaving the nest for the first time?"

I swallowed at the mention of the woman's name and put on my bravest smile. I hadn't seen her in over a year when she had come back from her last year of college, revealing she was engaged. I was seventeen and devastated. I didn't exactly keep it a secret that I was crushing on her hardcore; bordering on the edge of being in love. My eleven year old self hung onto the friendly open-minded Jaiden.

My seventeen year old self pretty much shattered that image. Sure, I had girlfriends because maybe a part of me knew I'd still have to wait for my turn to woo that beautiful human being; but it all went down the drain when she brought home Kennedy Trey and introduced her as her fiancée.

"Oh yeah, I remember." Chase chuckled but gave me an apologetic smile. "Dylan, why don't you go and make sure the music choices are up to par."

"Yes ma'am." Dylan kissed my cheek before taking off and into the diner part.

"Lucas, we just wanted you to know that it wasn't planned this way." Chase gave me a sympathetic look and squeezed my shoulder. "Jaiden is here for a while with Kennedy and she wanted to help set up this party for you."

My mind halted because I had ignored Jaiden for a better part of the last year and now she was at this dinner party and since it was for me, I couldn't exactly walk out. I could only nod and let out air I didn't even realize I was holding.

"We're sorry, babe." Ephiny kissed the side of my head before grabbing a cloth and heading out the kitchen door again.

"It was just a crush. I'm okay. Really." I smiled and reached around Chase, grabbing a carrot stick. "But thank you for looking out for me." I walked past her and as soon as I was away from prying eyes, I fell against a wall in a small hallway, fighting back a few stray tears.

"Lucas?" Matthew's voice brought me back with a concerned look on his face. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, bud." I nodded and sniffled slightly, wiping my eyes. "Come on, let's go see what's happening up front." I grabbed his hand and we joined the rest of the family.

"Were you ever allowed to have your best friend tag along to something when you were grounded?" Chase asked my moms teasingly, pointing to Dylan and Taesso, talking in hushed whispers.

"Yes, actually. Kyla was pretty much my other sister so she was given a free pass." Mom chuckled and then Momma scrunched her face up. "What?"

"I don't see Dyl and Taes as siblings." She huffed out.

"Not here." Mom scolded playfully and their eyes shared an intimate moment

The chimes above the door went off, signaling company. I turned my head to see Jaiden, in her glorious tight jeans and a loose shirt that hung off her shoulders. She had sunglasses perched up on top of her head, holding back her long, so long, dark wavy hair. My heart started to beat erratically and I knew I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to face the questions of why I ignored every email, every text, every facebook message. It was obvious but never addressed as to why.

Then Kennedy walked in behind her, her layered red hair tucked perfectly behind her ears, her green eyes popping against her freckled cheeks, her hand slipping into Jaiden's as they approached the table. "Sorry we're late. Someone had to make sure they had the perfect outfit on."

Jaiden just pouted before looking down at her outfit. Her very sexy and form fitting outfit.

Why must the universe punish me?

"Looks normal to me." Chase shrugged at her daughter before giving the new arrivals hugs.

Jaiden's keys jingled in her hands and then I felt her eyes on me. "Lucas." It was like melted honey dripping from her voice and I hated her for it.

Hated may have been a strong word.

Finally, I looked up at her for the first time in what felt like years and gave her my best smile. "Jaiden."

Everyone could feel the tension but Jaiden just ignored it and slid into my booth, sitting beside me. Her sweet perfume was intoxicating and it wasn't fair to be me at that moment. "How have you been? It's been a long time, we have a lot to catch up on."

I could feel Dylan's eyes on me and I could almost feel her concern for me in waves. After all, she knew my feelings for Jaiden more than anyone. "Hockey and school, you know. Just finished graduating and I'm heading for York in two weeks."

I felt her hand on my shoulder and I swallowed, casting a glance at my parents. Momma gave me a small smile before taking over the conversation.

Dinner went by without any hiccups. Matthew, Dylan and Taesso were in the book section playing a board game while I sat in the corner with Momma, who was playing piano. That was when she approached me, her grey eyes so soft, her smile so sweet. "May I steal Lucas away for a bit?"

Momma nodded and patted me on the back while I shuffled off the piano bench and followed Jaiden towards the front door.

"Jai, where are you going?" Kennedy grabbed her hand as she approached us, a loopy smile on her face. I didn't really know the woman to judge but she seemed like a lightweight.

"I need some fresh air and I wanted to catch up with an old friend." The brunette grinned at me and pleaded with me silently to agree.

"Yeah. It's been over a year since I've seen her and well, I need to hear about the wedding plans and all of that." I smiled, winking at Kennedy, who just stepped back and

gave us a half grin.

"Oh, is this the girl you wanted to be your Best Man?" Kennedy asked excitedly.

I could feel Jaiden tense slightly but instead of confirming her fiancée’s question, she just grabbed my wrist softly and dragged me out of the diner. We started to walk down Second Street and toward the Harbourfront in silence. We finally reached the water front and found an empty bench on the boardwalk.

"So," I started awkwardly because what was I supposed to say? "Best Man?"

Jaiden huffed out a laugh and pulled her hair to the side, not having her sunglasses on her to help with her unruly, sexy hair. "She has everything planned already. Everything except that."

"And why are you hesitating?" I asked, seeing the cute worry frown she always wore when in thought or stressed.

"Why are you ignoring me?" She finally asked, her eyes finding mine and then I felt her hand holding the side of my face lightly. "We used to talk about everything and you were my best friend, Luc."

I stood up and leaned against the railing overlooking the lake. I could feel my heart just beating so fast and hard. "When I was fifteen, I was supposed to have my first date with Kylee Strecker. Moms wouldn't let me go alone so you said you'd chaperone us, do you remember?"

"They didn't like the fact that she just turned seventeen." I felt her beside me, her arm brushing against mine.

"And I was going to be sixteen within that month so..." I laughed a little and shook my head. "Anyway, you were inviting Natalie and called it a double date. You made this whole ordeal for us to get ready together. We picked out our clothes and did each other's hair but then Kylee canceled last minute and I remember feeling upset, so disappointed."

Jaiden chuckled softly and looped her arm around mine while we both stared out at the scenery before us. "So I decided to cancel on Natalie and told you to wait where you were."

"Like two minutes later, you knocked on my bedroom door and when I opened it you held out a flower and kissed my cheek then asked if I was ready for our date." I smiled at the memory of myself feeling very giddy inside because even though she had been my 'date' to my parents wedding, that moment felt so different.

"We had a really great time." Jaiden recalled softly, her laughing had died down and soon it was quiet. "You were the best date I have ever had."

I pushed back and really looked at her for the first time. "Sometimes when you say things like that, it confuses me." I finally confessed and turned my head back towards the lake. "You cannot be that blind, Jaiden." I muttered, looking down at my hands and they were shaking with nerves.

"Lucas..." there was her honey laced voice again.

"I stopped talking to you because I couldn't...I can't stop this feeling of being so in love with you; and I thought that if I just made you hate me by completely ignoring you, then I could just move on and you wouldn't have to deal with a kid being in love with you!" I forced out and my body decided to move on its own, further down the boardwalk.

"Hey!" Jaiden caught me and spun me around, her grey eyes blazing at me. "I've never once called you a kid. I've had nothing but respect for our friendship. I could never see you as a sister because you were always, on some level, more than that. And when I walked into Rapture tonight and I saw you sitting there with your perfect face and ... it was not a sisterly feeling I felt."

I froze and breathed through my nose deeply. "For years I have been in love with you and I'm sorry but it's not that simple anymore."

"Luc..." She whispered again, her plea almost desperate but I couldn't deal with it.

I was the one left to apologize. "I'm sorry." I barely managed out before I walked away without looking back.

\--

It had been a long night. I had walked back to Rapture with a heavy heart and tried to stay away from the crowd but since the party was in my honour, I couldn't dodge the attention for long. It had been an hour since I came back and there was still no sign of Jaiden.

"Hey," Mom sat down beside me on one of the couches, her hand playing with the ends of my hair, "everything okay?"

"I'm fine." I nodded and bit into a piece of cake that Chase and Ephiny had made.

I felt her study me before ducking her head to get my attention. "Are you sure?"

I shook my head and tried to put on a brave face but I could feel the tears surfacing. I quickly wiped them away before they managed to make an appearance and then nodded. "I'll be okay."

"Lucas?" Kennedy stepped up behind me, her hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry to interrupt but I can't get ahold of Jaiden. Did she say where she was going?"

I swallowed, taking a deep breath. "Um, she mentioned something about going for a quick drive. She ate too much."

I heard a soft 'oh' and then she walked away.

"What happened?" Mom asked in her concerned voice.

"I can't talk about it yet." I replied politely. "Can I go home now?"

Mom studied me for a second before nodding her head. "Sure." She smiled softly and kissed my forehead. "If you need to talk, you know I'm here, both your Momma and I are here."

"I know, thank you." I returned the soft smile before getting up and tapping Dylan on the shoulder. "I'm heading home now, does Taes need a ride home?"

Taesso grinned and gave me a half hug. "That would be awesome, Carlin." Then he hugged both my parents, thanking them for the invite before high fiving Matthew. "I'll call you tomorrow and don't worry about Mason, he's a jerk anyway." He muttered to Dylan as he squeezed her tight.

"Thanks, Tae." Dylan hugged him tighter, a smile on her face.

I knew she liked him. She may not have known it but it would smack her in the face harder than a mack truck. I couldn't wait to watch that one unravel.

It was another silent ride towards Taesso's house but he broke the silence with a soft confession. "I'm in love with your sister."

I had to smirk because well, I knew that. "I know." I patted his leg before turning into his driveway. I stopped the car and put it in park, turning to look at him. "You're a great guy, Taesso."

"But she's in love with Mason." He shrugged, defeated. I knew that feeling all too well.

"No," I snorted a bit and shifted in my seat, "she's not in love with him. She's in love with...being in a relationship. We both know Mason is not good enough for her and in time, she'll learn to realize that too."

Taesso laughed quietly and nodded his head. "You think she likes me? Even just a little?"

"Yeah, bro. I know she does." I shoved him and his boyish grin came out to play. "If I were in any way straight, I'd date you." I winked and he just chuckled.

"Well my moms are probably wondering where I am," he took off his seatbelt and then gave me a fist pound, "thanks for the ride home."

"Anytime."

"Jaiden's blind as well, you know." He poked his head through the passenger door before giving me a final wave and making his way up to his door.

I sighed heavily, rubbing my temples from the headache I had forming and decided sleep would numb the feeling - for awhile anyway.

\--


	4. She's Heavy In My Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm leaving this weekend," she whispered, her face so close to me, "and I just need to know one thing."
> 
> I swallowed and nodded, feeling the skin of her bare stomach pressed against my own.
> 
> "If I were older," she licked her dry lips, "would we have a chance?"
> 
> "Lucas."

** FOUR | She's Heavy In My Thoughts **

 

** ~*Jaiden*~ **

Lucas was sixteen when I first felt a pull toward her. I knew there was always a fine borderline when it came to my feelings for her but when she was younger, I felt more inclined to protect her at all costs. She was never a sister to me and there were reasons I could not explain as to why I felt that way. It wasn't until she was sixteen when I realized that Lucas was someone who would wreck my world one day.

It was only a matter of time.

I was twenty two when I flirted with the devil and decided that holding her hand on our "date" would be just another innocent thing we both did. It turned out that was a mistake and one that I didn't want to take back but regretted for obvious reasons.

She looked so grown up in her ripped black and yellow Boston Bruins tank top and light colour jeans. I had pulled her long blonde hair back into a ponytail with a few braids hanging loose around her face. I wanted Lucas to leave an impression on her date with Kylee but soon found it was her loss when I got to accompany Lucas for the evening instead.

She made me feel like I was sixteen all over again with the slight butterflies and giddiness.

It was easy to contain though because even though I had these unforgivable feelings towards her, I was responsible and straight headed enough to know that there was a line I could not cross - at all.

We had fun hanging out, as we always had, and when it was time to drop her off, I kissed her cheek like I would normally do. She grinned and quickly scooted out of my car while I sat back and breathed out heavily.

I had put a stop to it before I could let it get out of hand. I went back to school and met Kennedy in my Lit class. We hit it off instantly and had been together ever since.

I wasn't blind when it came to Lucas. She wasn't subtle with her blushes and as she aged, her flirting game was strong.

So when I had heard how she really felt, out loud for the very first time, it wasn't so much as a shock to me as it was a revelation. Lucas was eighteen. She was legally an adult and I had been leading her around, unintentionally, for all of her teen years. It wasn't fair for her and I had no idea how to make it right without giving in to the feelings I've wanted to return for awhile now.

She looked broken and I couldn't do anything to stop her from walking away because what was I supposed to say? Return the sentiment? I had a fiancee and I had a life that I was trying to build. It wouldn't be fair to anyone.

"Where have you been?" Kennedy asked as I entered the apartment upstairs above Rapture. I had rented it off of my parents during the summers I came home from school to work. We were allowed to stay in it for free while we were visiting for the remainder of the summer.

"I'm sorry. I just got lost in my head." I whispered, kneeling on the couch beside her and kissed her cheek.

"Is everything okay? Lucas looked pretty upset when she came back earlier." Kennedy frowned in concern.

"We had a disagreement." I shrugged and stretched. "I don't think it's a good idea to ask her to be my Best Man."

Kennedy eyed me up and I knew she was about to have a meltdown. "Jaiden." She hissed lowly before standing up abruptly. "We've held off on planning our wedding because you wanted to ask her to be standing up there with you and now you're saying she shouldn't be? What the hell happened tonight?"

"I told you, we had an argument." I got up and grabbed a glass of water, chugging it. "I'll ask Jennie."

"Your ex-Jennie?!" She screeched before stomping her foot. "You're unbelievable."

"She's barely an ex!" I yelled at her retreating form then threw myself back on the couch, staring at the TV that was turned off.

 

* * *

Tension. It was all around me and I couldn't shake it no matter what. "Get your shoes off the table." Mom scolded me as I grumpily ate my cereal at the front counter in the diner. "Where's Ken?"

"No clue." I muttered and slurped my milk slightly before my other mom slapped me gently with the newspaper. "Sorry."

"Please tell me you two aren't fighting." Mom sighed, tucking blonde hair behind her ear.

"We are,” I nodded, "sorry to disappoint you."

"Jaiden." She warned and rolled her eyes at my usual behaviour. "I don't want to be shelling out thousands of dollars on a wedding that may not happen."

I swallowed when that idea kind of sat a little too well with me. I wasn't feeling the vibe anymore.

Customers walked in and I heard her voice and her quiet laughter before I even saw her. Lucas was wearing tight skinny leg jeans with a flannel shirt wide open and her black bikini top exposed for everyone to see. She had a black snapback on, her long blonde hair down and flowing flawlessly. My jaw had yet to be picked up off the floor because damn the girl worked out.

"Good morning Lucas!" Mom yelled her over and I could tell that she hesitated before sliding up next to me. "Looks like you're ready for a fun day at the beach."

"We're heading to Coney Island for the day; to do some tubing and waterboarding." She answered politely. I tried to ignore the scent of sunscreen lotion coming off her already naturally tanned skin.

"Why not just go off your dock?" I asked curiously.

Her stunning grey eyes shrugged, looking at me. She pulled a brunette over to her side intimately and smiled, "Whitney is leaving in the morning and I've been promising her a day at Coney since she got here from Ireland. I figured since I have my pack together for one last time, we'd enjoy it - adult free."

Oh... burn.

"Well have fun." I smiled and turned back to my cereal but realized I wasn't hungry and pushed off the stool, grabbing my bowl and making my way to the kitchen in the back. I got to work clearing out the dirty dishes and loading them into the industrial dishwasher. It was then that I felt hands grip my hips before I was tugged around to face the intruder.

Lucas's eyes were burning with a fire I had never seen before - why would I see this side of her, I mean.

"I'm leaving this weekend," she whispered, her face so close to me, "and I just need to know one thing."

I swallowed and nodded, feeling the skin of her bare stomach pressed against my own.

"If I were older," she licked her dry lips, "would we have a chance?"

"Lucas." I closed my eyes and placed my hands on her bare waist in a move to push her back but she only fought the movement and pressed against me harder.

"I'm leaving this weekend, Jai. I don't want to go on wondering anymore so if you can help me move on..." Lucas whimpered a little when I shook my head slowly, feeling my heart beat wildly in my chest.

"I can't tell you anything you want to hear." I confessed and took the snapback hat off her head before surging forward and stealing a bruising, heart stopping kiss from her. The hat was gripped into the hand that was clutching at her flannel shirt.

I had never in my life felt so torn between kissing this young beautiful woman forever and pushing her away because I was the adult and I shouldn't be kissing her.

I was getting married!

But Lucas opened her mouth as a slight invitation and the kiss grew deeper and soon I felt it all. I felt the floodgate open to my heart and just pour out everything it had locked up for quite some time.

I whimpered when her hands finally came up to cup my face and the kiss grew less heated and more sensual.

It was wrong.

"Luc." I mumbled and pushed back. "Lucas..."

"Wow." Was all she said, her eyes in a daze and I couldn't help but smile.

"Yeah, wow." I nodded in agreement but felt the sickening feeling of guilt rise up in me fast. "I wish things were different."

"Don't we all?" She whispered as she grabbed her hat from my hand and placed it back on her head. She stood there, her hands playing with the belt loops on my jeans. She didn’t look at me expectantly like I thought she would. Instead she just squeezed my hips before pushing her body back and leaving without a word.

I couldn't help but wonder what the hell had just happened.

And what was I going to tell Kennedy?

 

* * *

The night was young, the sun still fairly high in the sky. I tried to get her out of my head and two days later, she was still heavy in my thoughts. The war inside of myself to be honest with Kennedy was an on-going battle because I didn’t know what to tell her. I didn’t know if I could explain why the kiss with Lucas had happened or what it meant.

“Penny for them?” Kennedy asked as she stepped out onto the dock, off of my parents’ houseboat.

I gave her a smile and felt the guilt rip inside me, as it had for the past 48 hours. "Are you sure you don't want to move here?" I changed the subject and pointed towards the calm lake.

"I love living in Ottawa, I love the life there." Kennedy shrugged, "but it is gorgeous here." She leaned against me and sighed. "Are you sure everything is okay with you?"

"No." I replied honestly and blew a few strands of hair out of my face. The palms of my hands were sweaty. I felt her rub my lower back gently in concern and I could only move away from her advances.

"Jaiden," she frowned in worry and confusion, "Did I do something wrong?"

"No." My shoulders sagged as I took a deep breath before looking at her and I know she could see the distress written all over my face. "There's something I have to tell you and you're really not going to like it."

She swallowed hard but put on a brave face before stepping back and allowing me to continue. "Wait," she shook her head and scratched her head before letting out a laugh, "I think I know what you're going to say."

"You do?" I asked her, unsure.

"You don't want to get married, right?" Kennedy tucked her red hair behind her ears. "All of this pressure of wanting to get married before I make partner at the law firm is weighing heavily on you isn't it?"

Biting my lip and holding back a sympathetic smile, I just gave her a look to tell her she was wrong - to a point at least.

"I kissed someone." I barely whispered but held my head up to face her and own up to my actions like a grown woman. "The other day while I was down in the diner eating breakfast, I kissed someone else."

The look of shock on Kennedy's face was more heartbreaking than I thought it would be. "I'm sorry but did you just say you kissed someone else?"

I nodded, remaining silent.

"That's awesome, Jai." She laughed out loud, the sound echoing across the quiet lake. "Why the hell would you kiss someone else? Who is she?"

"It doesn't matter who she is." I whispered.

Kennedy stood there and stared at me before she turned around and walked away from the docks.

 

* * *

 


	5. Weighing Us Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Um, I just came to see Jaiden but if you two are busy…” I started when she held up her hand to stop me from talking.
> 
> “She’s not here.” Kennedy practically yelled while laughing, looking around the small apartment. “I suspect she’s on the houseboat at the Harbourfront. That’s where she was when she told me that she kissed someone else.”
> 
> I flinched and my heart sped up a little bit. I noticed she was analyzing my reaction before she sucked her bottom lip into her mouth, pointing at me. “How close are you two?”
> 
> “Excuse me?” I nearly squeaked because there I was, standing in front of a woman who was supposed to marry Jaiden and I had kissed Jaiden. Her green eyes narrowed at me.

**FIVE | Weighing Us Down**

**~*Ashley*~**

Dumping the load of laundry on the bed, I gave Spencer a look and she just grinned innocently. “What?”

“Oh nothing.” She got up from the reading chair, tossing her book aside and flopped down on the bed. “Alex and Sam will be in Midtown visiting Mom and Dad and offered to take Dylan and Matthew for a night. I was thinking,” she stalked up the bed before reaching me and popping open the button of my jeans, “we can get a honeymoon suite and do dirty things to each other.”

I gasped slightly when she got up on her knees and stole my breath away in a kiss, her fingers deftly pulling the zipper down and sliding her hand inside. “The door is open.” I breathed hotly against her lips and she just chuckled, hopping off the bed and kicking it shut before taking her spot back in front of me.

“Better?” She grinned with a wink, head tilting to the side and resuming the movement with her hand, peppering kisses down my jaw.

“Momma!” Matthew yelled from outside the door that was just slammed moments ago. “The phone is for you!”

I grabbed Spencer’s wrist and held it there while we had a brief staring contest, breathing heavy. “Later.” I muttered and tugged her hand from my jeans and kissed her hard one last time before extracting myself from her hold altogether.

“Aaash!” She whined behind me while I opened the door to find my son grinning, holding out the phone.

“Thanks Matt,” I ruffled his hair and side stepped him, taking the phone. “Hello?”

_“Hey Momma,”_ Lucas sounded tired.

“Hey Luc, everything okay? Where are you?” I asked, heading down the stairs toward the kitchen.

_“Yeah, we just got in off the lake. Hadley and her parents were going to drop me off at home but I was wondering if I could hang out in town for a bit and maybe you or Mom can pick me up?”_

“Yeah, sure. Do you know what time? Dylan is at Taesso’s until eleven, is that too late?” I asked, opening the freezer to grab a tub of ice cream.

_“Nah,”_ She replied and I could hear cars in the background, _“Rapture is having their last open mic night of the summer and it’s going until midnight so eleven is perfect.”_

“Did you finish the last of your packing?” I raised an eyebrow while opening the lid off the container and digging in with a tablespoon.

_“Most of it. Don’t worry, we’ll leave the house early enough to catch our flight, I promise.”_ She huffed in a laugh and then told me she’d see me later and hung up.

I put the phone on the counter and turned around to find Matthew grinning at me with a spoon of his own. “Care to share?”

“Why of course.” I chuckled and ushered him into the living room where Iron Man was on pause, “After this you need to brush your teeth and go to bed. We have a long day tomorrow.”

“Yes ma’am.” He saluted, batting his long lashes while sitting on the couch beside me. “Is Lucas moving away forever?”

I smiled softly and pressed a kiss to the top of his shaggy head. “No, she’s not. She has a huge opportunity to play hockey just like Mom and she’ll receive a great education in the process.”

“Okay.” Matthew sighed sadly.

“You know, normally parents would say that their kid is receiving a great education before mentioning the hockey bit.” Spencer teased lightly as she descended down the stairs.

I just snickered and threw my head back, looking at her upside down slightly. “Yeah well, she’s a Carlin. Hockey is in her blood and it’s important. Plus she received one of the most outstanding scholarships for hockey so she better damn well play her ass off.”

“Bad word.” Matthew shook her head disapprovingly while digging back into the ice cream between us.

“Who was on the phone?” Spencer asked as she slid into my lap, stealing a bite of ice cream.

“Lucas.” I replied, nuzzling her arm and looking at her with a soft smile. “She’s not ready to come home yet and since Hadley was her ride home, she needs a ride later.”

Spencer nodded slowly and tilted her head in thought. “She doesn’t want to spend her last night with us?”

Matthew glanced at us with a sad look before he sighed and went back to watching the movie. I could tell he was going take her absence worse than any of us.

“It’s not like that.” I whispered and nudged her off my lap so she’d stand. I grabbed her hand while kissing our son on his head before tugging her back upstairs to our room. “Matthew thinks his world is ending with Luc leaving for the school year. I don’t need you feeding into that right now.”

Spencer looked like she was scolded and sat down on the end of the bed, arms folded in front of her chest. “Our eldest is leaving and you’re perfectly okay with it.”

I chuckled and shook my head. “No baby,” I smirked and moved to straddle her lap, kissing her softly, “but Lucas is an adult and she’s ready to face life on her own and do what she loves. She’s you at that age.” I pointed out with a raised eyebrow.

“It’s still not fair.” Spencer pouted, her baby blues staring at me. “I don’t remember my parents acting like this when I was leaving.”

“From what I understand, you and Carmen took off last minute to that hockey summer camp in Quebec then straight into school after that.” I pulled back, cupping her face.

She just shrugged and wrapped her arms around my waist tighter, nuzzling her face in between my breasts. “Why does Matthew have to be home right now?”

I tossed my head back and laughed. “Boy, you’re not happy either way tonight. You’re upset that Lucas isn’t home and you’re upset that Matthew is.”

“I just want to have sex with you right now.” She bluntly replied, nipping at my collarbone.

I shuddered slightly before getting up off of her lap. “Why don’t we wait until everyone is in bed and fast asleep. We’ll play my favourite game ‘Who Can Keep Quiet’.”

“I always win.” Spencer grabbed me and pulled me back down on the bed, rolling us over so that she was on top of me. “How about a pre-game show?” She wiggled her eyebrows before stealing my breath away in a kiss.

 

* * *

**~*Dylan*~**

I put down Taesso’s guitar and leaned back on the couch in his basement. He was pretty spoiled, having the whole basement to himself as a bedroom and hangout place. He was sprawled out on his bed, reading some sort of comic book and I chuckled, throwing a pillow at him.

“Hey!” He scowled at me before tossing his book aside and getting up to charge at me, picking me up and tossing me on my back, tickling my sides.

“Taes!” I screeched in laughter, trying to push his hands away. “Stop!” I breathed and he immediately backed off, chuckling.

“I miss hanging out with you.” He confessed, laying on his side beside me. “Ever since you and Mason starting dating, it feels like I never get to see you unless it’s hanging out between classes at school. This is the first time this summer that we’ve actually hung out without him here.”

I sat up with a guilty sigh, running my hands through my hair. “I know and I’m sorry.”

He shrugged and reached over to play with the bracelet on my wrist that Lucas bought me. “We’re hanging out now so I’m okay.” He gave me a grin. “How are things with you and Mase anyway?”

“I wouldn’t know actually.” I laughed and rolled my eyes. “Ever since I was grounded, he hasn’t been around. Whatever.”

Taesso sat up and licked his lips, a debating look in his eye. It was like he wanted to say something but didn’t at the same time.

“Taesso, what is it?” I asked, turning my body so that I was facing him.

“I woke up to a text this morning but I didn’t want to say anything to you because well,” his dark eyes just looked so soft and sad, “I didn’t want to be the one to hurt you.”

I frowned and shook my head. “I’m not following here. What do you mean? What was the text about?”

“Heath said that he saw Mason out with Mila last night at Anicinabe Park. They were…parked?” He swallowed and I could tell that he was waiting for my reaction.

And I wanted to react and I wanted to ask him what he meant by ‘parked’ but I knew deep down exactly what he meant. Mason and I had been to Anicinabe Park a few times to make out and yes, maybe I’d given him a helping _hand_ once or twice but the moment he started wanting more, he found my resistance a huge turn off and we hadn’t been back since.

“Oh.” I said in, what I thought was, a normal voice. “Good for him.”

“Good for hi-, Dylan…” Taesso scrunched his face up in confusion before scratching the back of his neck. “I just told you that your boyfriend pretty much, no, not pretty much, but that he flat out cheated on you and you say ‘good for him’?”

I nodded. “Yeah, good for him.”

“What?” Taesso nearly huffed and growled slightly. “That motherfucker cheated on you and you’re just going to let it happen?”

“I’m not right for him.” I lashed out and got up off the bed. “Jesus, Taesso, why are you freaking out about this? So the fucker cheated on me. It’s not like I was ready and willing to have sex with him.”

“You’re so much more than sex, Dylan! He should know better.” Tease yelled back, his chest heaving. “Just because you aren’t ready, doesn’t give him the right to screw someone else. That is not how a relationship works.”

“Well apparently it’s how this one works.” I grabbed my sandals and started to pull them on my feet.

“Where are you going?” He asked, slightly panicked.  “Please stay, I’m sorry I freaked out. I care about you.”

“While I find your accent completely adorable when you’re angry and sticking up for me, I need some time alone to process this.” I answered quietly.

“You don’t have to process it alone, you know. I’m here for you.” Taesso gave me a small smile and when I noticed he had tears in his eyes, it kind of broke me too.

For so many reasons.

And in that moment when Taesso wrapped his arms around me and held me against his chest, I knew that maybe, just maybe I found the one person to confide in.

Because the truth was, I wasn’t okay.

I literally felt alone in a world where I should feel the most comfort. And I love lesbians, I do. I find women fascinating but not to the point where I want to make out with one. But I am surrounded by them every single day. I get teased at school because my sister was out and proud and everyone just expected me to follow her shadow. It was hard making friends with guys because some of them would want to come over to watch my parents make out or my sister make out with her flavour of the month.

I was already struggling with not playing hockey anymore. I had given it up in favour of cheerleading, which didn’t work out so much either because the girls were afraid I’d either check them out in the change room or that I’d tell my sister about how they looked while in the change room.

Throw in all the sex talk and jokes between my family members. Carmen and my mom were the worst for it.

After I had explained as much to Taesso, he gave me a soft smile. “I’m sure if you tell your family how you feel, they’ll understand, Dylan. They’re not ones to judge you.”

“I know.” I sighed when we relocated to his bed, my head on his chest with my eyes closed. He was threading his fingers through my hair. “Did you mean what you said a while ago?” I lifted my head and stared up at him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about but I’m sure I meant it, yes.” He chuckled when I slapped his stomach.

“About being more than just sex.” I whispered, judging his reaction.

Taesso stopped mid thread and looked me dead in the eye. “You’re my favourite cuddle bunny, you know that? I could waste my whole life just lying here with you doing nothing else and I’d die a happy man.”

I tried to hide a blush but I couldn’t so I just cleared my throat and tilted my head slightly. “Is that your way of saying you like me?”

“I thought it was pretty obvious but yeah.” His voice broke slightly but he managed to smile at me with his charming ways. “I’m in love with you.”

Oh.

“Oh.” I breathed, my heart picking up slightly and the feel of his hand cupping the side of my face.

“Don’t worry,” he whispered seriously, “I don’t expect you to say anything in return. I just didn't want to lie to you anymore either. But I meant it, Dyl, you’re more than sex. You’re insanely attractive but you’re more than that.”

“I have one more thing to say to you,” I lifted myself up on my arms and took a deep breath, “I don’t know how I feel about this right now but it’s not you. I really do like you, Taes and I’m not going to deny the chemistry we have but…” I breathed in deeply once more, “I’m still trying to find myself and maybe Mason’s cheating was a blessing in disguise because I know I wouldn’t have slept with him. And I may have a lot to work out in my life and choosing a path for when school ends but there is one thing I think I know.”

“What?” He asked in concern.

“I’m asexual.” The word wanted to stay trapped because once they were out, I couldn’t take them back.

“Okay.” Taesso said slowly like it was no big deal. “So, that just further amplifies that you’re more than just sex. You’re going to make the best girlfriend to the right guy because your focus will not be on sexualizing your relationship but making it even more special with your love and quirkiness.”

“…” I stared at him as if he weren’t real. Taesso Ramirez was perfect. “So if we were to be in a relationship, you know we won’t ever have sex right?”

“Correct.” He nodded. “Oh but if we were in a relationship, we’d have the best romance in history.”

“I’m asexual.” I repeated again.

“You’ve stated that very clearly the first time.” Taesso stated firmly. “Are we labeling ourselves right now? I’m pansexual.”

“Wait, you are?” I asked, jumping on his bed and grinning at him.

“Love is love, man.” Taesso laughed and sat up with me, sighing into a more serious emotion. “You should break up with your boyfriend because you deserve better. You also need time to heal and mend your mind because you’re beating yourself up so hard over this. Over who you are. You’re Dylan. My best friend. Everything else? It doesn’t matter right now.”

“I kind of want to kiss you right now.” I replied softly and pulled him into a hug instead.

“I wouldn’t be opposed to that.” I heard his muffled voice in my neck and pulled back with a dimpled grin and a wink, placing a kiss on my cheek. “Come on, if you’re done talking for now, let’s go bug my moms to play a board game with us before you have to go.”

 

* * *

**~*Lucas*~**

Rapture was packed when I walked in. The crowd was full of young teens and some that were my age. I greeted a few friends from school but made my way to the back counter. “Hey Eph,” I smiled at her.

“Lucas!” She grinned and moved around the counter to hug me tightly. “How are you? We haven’t seen you here for the past couple of days. Seems like you’re cheating on us with some other coffee shop, it just better not be Starbucks at Safeway.”

I laughed and took my snapback off feeling the stickiness of the heat lingering in the air. “Uh no actually. I was with Hadley at their camp in Sunnyside.”

“It’s so good to see you two are great friends after your break up.” Ephiny squeezed my shoulder briefly.

“Eph, we were 13.” I shook my head with a small laugh.

“First crushes are hard to get over sometimes too.” She shrugged, her eyes twinkling. “So what can I get you? Is the family joining?”

I rubbed the back of my neck. “Actually, I was wondering if Jai was around?”

Ephiny eyed me up with a look I couldn’t quite decipher. “She might be upstairs. I haven’t seen her around here much either.”

I nodded my thanks silently and squeezed by her, taking the back way up to the second floor. I rubbed my hands on my ripped jean shorts and held my hand up to knock on the door.

I didn’t know what I was going to say once I was face to face with her. I kissed her and she kissed me back. We hadn’t spoken since and I wasn’t sure how to feel. All I ever wanted was Jaiden and when she kissed me back, everything just fell into place.

But Jaiden was engaged and yes, I was there to apologize.

The door opened up a few seconds later and I hadn’t even realized that I had knocked. I was met with green eyes and a small smile on Kennedy’s pretty face. “Hi Kennedy,” I gave her an awkward wave.

“Lucas.” She said slurred a little bit, a bottle of Budweiser in her hand.

“Um, I just came to see Jaiden but if you two are busy…” I started when she held up her hand to stop me from talking.

“She’s not here.” Kennedy practically yelled while laughing, looking around the small apartment. “I suspect she’s on the houseboat at the Harbourfront. That’s where she was when she told me that she kissed someone else.”

I flinched and my heart sped up a little bit. I noticed she was analyzing my reaction before she sucked her bottom lip into her mouth, pointing at me. “How close are you two?”

“Excuse me?” I nearly squeaked because there I was, standing in front of a woman who was supposed to marry Jaiden and I had kissed Jaiden. Her green eyes narrowed at me.

“I just thought maybe if you knew who else she hung out with maybe I would know who she kissed. I mean, am I not enough, Lucas? Does she not love me enough to at least tell me she doesn’t want to get married? I’m not forcing her and she asked me.” Kennedy babbled, tears starting to spill before she flung her arms around me and sobbed. The beer bottle dropped to the wooden floor, splashing my shoes and ankles.

Awkwardly I patted her back and pushed myself away. “You know, I’m not so sure I know Jaiden all that well anymore either. I’m not the best person to ask.” I adjusted the snapback onto my head and nodded. “I gotta go, I’m sorry Kennedy.”

She just sniffled and slammed the door behind me.

—


	6. Kissed You and Made You Cry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “God, I’m such an idiot!” I huffed out loudly but knew better than to kick inside of my momma’s precious mustang.
> 
> “Hey,” she wrapped her arm around mine and pulled me closer, placing a kiss on my temple. “It may not have been an ideal thing to do but you’re not an idiot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me a year to get this updated. A broken/mending heart can throw you out of whack and off track. Luckily, and thankfully, I'm prepared to jump back in and get this last road to the WIAA saga complete! Thank you for your continued patience. xo
> 
> All mistakes are mine.
> 
> P.S.: There will be Salex and there will be Spashley, don't you worry!

**SIX | Kissed You and Made You Cry**

**~*Lucas*~**

 

The Wynters’ houseboat would’ve looked empty if it weren’t for the faint glow of a candlelight coming from the small kitchenette area. I peeled off my converse sneakers and tucked them under my arm, making my way quietly on the dock.    
  
I could hear the faint music coming from inside the cabin and paused briefly. It probably wasn’t the best idea to be where I was. I caught a glimpse of her shadow and took a deep breath. “Knock knock!” I hollered in a friendly tone.   
  
Jaiden’s head popped out from the back door and I swear her eyes lit up momentarily. “Lucas, hey.” She breathed and held out her hand to help me onto the houseboat. My jaw clenched at the smooth feeling of her hand in mine. “What brings you here?”   
  
“I figured I’d find you here.” I smiled softly and made my way inside the houseboat cabin, following her to a small table set up. “I uh, I sort of stopped by the apartment first and Kennedy was there and she started crying… I’m sorry.”   
  
Jaiden bit her lip and shook her head. “No, don’t be. It’s where I’m supposed to be staying so yeah, why wouldn’t you check there first.”

“Dumb question but will you two be okay?” I asked, scratching the back of my neck.

“I really don’t think so, no.” Jaiden shrugged and let out a deep sigh, rubbing a hand on her forehead.

“I’m sorry about kissing you.” I whispered and sat down on the end of the breakfast nook counter.

“I’m not.” Her eyes stared at me with an emotion I couldn’t even put into words. “I’m,” she let out a small laugh before running her hand through her hair, “I’m just sorry about the situation.”   
  
I chuckled slightly and raised an eyebrow. “It was bound to happen. You’re six years older than me so why wouldn’t you have an amazing woman you’re going to marry?”

“Well that amazing woman deserves better.” She gave me a tight smile and pushed away from the door. “Did you want to go for a ride?” Jaiden was already out on the side of the boat, untying the ropes from the docks. “We haven’t done this in so long.”

“Since the last time when you dropped the anchor too close to shore and got hooked onto the pipe underwater?” I teased and helped her with the ropes. She chuckled and gently shoulder checked me. “Are you sure we should be doing this? It’s late.”

“We have a permit to anchor down off the docks, it’s okay.” Jaiden winked and jumped back onto the deck and made her way to the wheel, starting the engine. She turned to look at me with a raised eyebrow, “last chance before this vessel leaves…”

I bit my lip and hopped back on the boat and used my foot to guide the vessel along the side of the dock as we backed up. She gave me another wink and turned her attention back onto the dark lake where she safely guided us further out before deciding to anchor the boat.

Things felt like they were normal for awhile. There was no talk about the kissing incident and she asked me very valid questions about my choice of universities. I had been accepted to more than just York but because my mom went there and I had a full ride with a hockey scholarship, it just seemed more fitting.

“But you want to do art as well, correct?” Jaiden asked as she handed me a glass of ginger ale and sat down on a small sofa across from the chair I was slouched in.

“Of course. I do have a couple of art classes so that’s cool. It’s a compromise for myself. I love hockey and I love art so this is neat that I actually get to do both.” I shrugged and sat up a bit to take a sip of the bubbly drink.

“Good, I just want you happy.” Her voice was soft, her eyes bold and bright staring at me. Then she dipped her head to look closer at me. “You are happy, right?”

“Are you?” I countered and leaned forward a bit, taking my snapback off and placing it by my phone and sunglasses on the end table.

“Obviously not, right? I mean, I should be at home trying to repair my relationship but I don’t even know if there’s anything to repair.” Jaiden almost let out a whine and threw herself back on the couch, her hand dramatically over her face. “My parents are going to kill me when I tell them I’m not getting married.”

I swallowed and sucked on my bottom lip, eyebrows furrowed. “This- this isn’t because of me, is it?”

Peering through her fingers, Jaiden stared at me. Then she sat up slowly and looked down, almost guiltily before reaching her hands out to pull me out of my chair and to her. I swallowed as her fingers wrapped around the glass of my drink and placing it next to hers, guiding my body to sit next to her. “I would do anything for you, Luc.”

I fought back tears that threatened to spill because that moment was so overwhelming. It was so raw and she was looking at me the way I had imagined she would since I knew what it meant to have a crush.

“Jaiden…” My voice shook unevenly though I meant to say her name in warning tone. It didn’t come out as threatening as I had hoped but instead her name dropped like a prayer - before I could catch my breath, she was cupping my face between her hands and kissing me.

The kiss wasn’t hurried or frantic. It was slow and tentative. I could feel her hands brace the back of my neck, tugging me even closer. My hands were clutching at her shoulders for balance, feeling the heat of her skin beneath my palms. Her breath washed over my lips before she reclaimed them again gently.

I was so lightheaded and let myself go because it felt all too right to just stop - even though I knew I should. I knew it wasn’t a good idea to swing my leg over and straddle her lap, pressing closer to her as the kiss that started off slow, became increasingly heated. Her hands trailed down my back then up again, dipping under the collar of my flannel shirt and coaxing it down my arms.

I knew it wasn’t a good idea to have my shirt tossed to the side, giving in to the kisses she was placing along my neck. But this was a moment I’d only ever fantasized about and Jaiden was more than I could ever imagine. “Lucas.” She whimpered into my ear when I finally allowed my hands to move down the front of her chest and before I knew it, my back was on the couch and she was hovering over me, kissing me until I needed to pull back and catch my breath. Dark blue eyes brewing like a storm of desire while she looked at me and it was like she was unlocking everything I had ever felt.

Then it happened. Her left hand came back up to cup my cheek, the coolness of her engagement band pressed lightly against my skin. I swallowed and shook my head, clearing the hazy fog of lust before wiggling my way from beneath her body. “Oh my god.” I muttered and Jaiden moved to stand up immediately.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, frowning in concern.

“This...this is all wrong!” I managed to stutter out because my heart was still reeling from everything that had transpired moments ago.

“Lucas…” Jaiden tried to grab my hand but I pulled away immediately.

“I’m not this person. I’m not. I can’t be.” I picked my shirt off of the floor and quickly tugged it over my bikini top because I felt too exposed all of a sudden.

“What person?” She tilted her head and I could see the confusion written all over her face.

“I don’t get involved with practically married women...fuck!” I panicked and moved onto the back deck of the houseboat. I scanned the small skyline of the town straight ahead, the waters dark and inviting.

“I- Lucas, I’m so sorry.” Jaiden made her way up behind me and I felt her forehead rest onto the nape of my neck very lightly. “I’m scared too, you know.” She barely whispered, her hands squeezing my hips gently before I felt the cold air against my skin as she moved back, giving me space when I tensed up.

“I was never scared.” I turned around and swallowed the thick lump in my throat. “Not for how I really feel but this,” I motioned between us and shook my head, “I can’t. Not like this.” I spun back around and before I knew it, I was diving into the dark lake, making my way to shore without a thought. I could hear her screaming my name before sobs could be heard in the quiet distance behind me.

Once I was at the docks, I pulled myself up and collapsed, staring up at the sky. What another eventful evening I was having and yet I experienced the same heartache once again.

\--

By the time I made it back to Rapture, Momma was already waiting patiently at our regular booth. She stood up as soon as I stepped inside and frowned, sensing something wasn’t right. I was soaked from head to toe so that was her first clue.

“Everything okay?” She wrapped me into a hug and that was when the tears came. I clutched onto her while I could feel everyone’s eyes on us. She cupped my face and gave me a sad sympathetic smile and asked if I wanted anything to drink.

“We should get home, it’s late.” I finally managed to wipe my eyes and swallowed when Chase came up and gave me a hug as well, almost as if she knew the reason why I was crying.

“It’s a big day for you tomorrow.” Chase smiled warmly and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “Promise you’ll stop in for one last early morning coffee?”

Both women studied me before I nodded, “of course.”

“Come on kiddo,” Momma wrapped a secure arm around my shoulder, “let’s order some ice cream and head home.”

The drive home was quiet and Momma didn’t ask me any questions. Throughout the years, she knew it was best to remain silent until I was ready to speak.

“I kissed Jaiden,” I finally whispered when Momma turned off the car in the driveway. I could feel her staring at me but I stayed focused on the dark lake ahead of me. “The first time was a couple of days ago and then tonight.”

I could feel her sputtering over her words silently. It was never a secret how I felt about Jaiden but no one expected anything to come of it; in either party. Not that a lot was coming out of it. I had kissed Jaiden; I had made out with Jaiden. Knowing how she tasted, what she felt like with her body against mine, her breathy sighs and tender touches-

“God, I’m such an idiot!” I huffed out loudly but knew better than to kick inside of my momma’s precious mustang.

“Hey,” she wrapped her arm around mine and pulled me closer, placing a kiss on my temple. “It may not have been an ideal thing to do but you’re not an idiot.”

“She was getting married.” I closed my eyes and tried to will the threatening tears away. “Why does this have to hurt so much?”

Her brown eyes softened and she cupped my face gently, “you are in love and being in love with someone you can’t have is one of the hardest things to deal with, no matter what age.”

“Like Aunt Carmen being in love with Mom?” I snorted lightly and she rolled her eyes but grinned. “Can we not talk about this when we’re inside?”

“It’s not my place to talk about any of this. I respect that you’re an adult and this is your life.” She glanced down at our sundaes. “Why not finish these first, then go in? I don’t feel like sharing right now.”

I chuckled softly and nodded. “Thank you.”

 

* * *

 

**~*Jaiden*~**

“What the fuck is that?” I muttered lowly as the guitar opening for Crazy Train blasted through the small houseboat. Rolling off the bed, I moaned into the floor before pulling myself up, squinting toward the seating area where the noise was coming from.

Glancing at the clock above the small bar, I muttered a quick ‘fuck me’ at the time staring back at me:  **6:00am**

There on the end table was Lucas’s phone and its alarm buzzing loudly. I switched it off, taking in the fact that she had also left her sunglasses and favourite snapback as well. Scrambling to grab my own phone, I noticed I had a few missed calls from my parents and one text from Kennedy that read  **‘I’m okay’** .

“Fuck.” I muttered once again and glanced out the window where the sun was already above the horizon of the lake. I shook my head, free of the cobwebs that etched their way into the memories of the night before with Lucas.

Pulling myself together, I got the boat ready to head for shore and docked it at its designated spot. After tying it up securely, I grabbed Lucas’s things and made my up the street to Rapture, politely nodding my head to the city workers on the way by, as they watered the plants along the sidewalks.

I knew my parents would be up, prepping the kitchen for another long day at the diner so I avoided going through the main floor and hopped up the fire escape, using my key to get in on the second floor. I didn’t want to answer any questions they would throw at me as to where I was and what was going on.

Not yet. I needed to figure things out for myself before I could give them an honest answer.

I stood at the apartment door, staring at the peeling wood with my heart pounding a mile a minute. Trying to swallow the thick feeling in my throat, I cleared my throat and unlocked the door, expecting to see Kennedy sleeping on the couch like she normally did when I was out late.

“Ken?” I called out while closing the door behind me and stuffing the key back in my pocket. There was no movement in the apartment. It was empty and that was when I noticed Kennedy’s suitcase missing from the foyer. “Shit,” I cursed and pulled out my phone to see her text “ **I’m okay** ” staring back at me.

Quickly making my way to the bedroom, I saw a folded note on the bed and inhaled deeply. With shaky hands, I opened it:

_ Jaiden, _

_ A part of me would like to say I’m not surprised that things ended this way but I can’t. I am    downright shocked, hurt and angry. I don’t know what changed between us but I know that I can’t enter into a marriage with you, knowing that I’m not everything you need - or everything you want.  
_ _ Have a nice life and thank you for the happiness you did share with me. _

_ Ken _

Kennedy deserved better and it wasn’t something I was saying in order to make myself feel better - she truly did. I went about things the wrong way and I could blame it on the fact that my feelings for Lucas hit me in the middle of nowhere, but that would be a lie. I just buried everything down because I knew better.

Yet I didn’t.

Because I just cheated on Kennedy, not once, but twice with Lucas Carlin. On top of that, I hurt not just one person but two, by acting selfish.

“Fuck!” I hissed again and placed the folded up note in my pocket, deciding against a quick shower.

Running down the stairs and into the kitchen area of Rapture, I ran into my mother, scaring the crap out of her. “Jesus, Jaiden.”

“Sorry.” I mumbled and moved around her but she caught my wrist and tugged me back to look at her. I embraced myself for the onslaught of questions but she just blew a strand of blonde hair out of her eyes and swallowed. “What?” I asked, somewhat weakly and instead of answering, she pulled me into a hug, squeezing me gently.

“Oh, my two favourite ladies embraced in a hug.” My other mom came from the front of the diner, tucking a pad and pen into her apron, enveloping us into her embrace. “I love a good old Wynters hug.”

I wanted to melt into my parents and stay in their cocoon of love forever, but I didn’t deserve it. Not at that moment.

“Kennedy thanked us for our hospitality before she left about an hour ago.” My mom cleared her throat and tilted her head to look at me when she pulled back. “Her leaving didn’t have anything to do with why Lucas was upset last night, is it?”

“Chase.” My momma scolded her quietly but I could do nothing but shrug.

Mom sighed right back before holding my gaze. “Jaid…”

“I need to drop these off to Lucas before she leaves,” I wedged my way out of the parental hug, holding up a phone, snapback and sunglasses.

“You’ll be pitching in for half the fees I won’t be getting back on this wedding that isn’t happening, Jaiden Victoria Wynters!” I heard my mom yell.

I stopped in my tracks and turned around. “Look, I understand the mess I am in and the mess I made. I understand what I need to do and I promise you won’t have to worry about the fees, okay?”

“Jaiden!” I heard my momma yell before a rough, “Jesus Chase, it’s called tact, use it.”

I tuned out their argument and exited the diner. The drive to Keewatin was rather quiet and I wasn’t sure what I should say or do, once I was faced with Lucas.

Or if Lucas would want to be faced with me to begin with.


End file.
